That first week of your life seemed to last forever. I can’t believe how fast this month with you has passed. I’m so lucky to have you. You are home and safe. It’s a terrible flu season that you were born into and I’m always afraid that you will catch some bug.

I’m not quite sure if it’s me or motherhood but I have to be protective of you. I am overly protective of you getting hurt something falling on you giving you gripe that maybe dangerous to you. Everything is harder

My job

Dear oldest,

My job here is not to be loved by you, my job is not to be your best friend.... My job is one thing and one thing only and that is to raise you right.

You can cry and you can be hurt and that's ok if it means teaching you right from wrong. It is not ok to do some things you did.

~~~

My oldest turned 11, 11 days ago. We were lucky to have guests staying over to make a home made cake from scratch. A terribly challenging year in which some of the needs of the older kids got swept under the rug. The younger ones took the front burner for a while and yes it probably was not fair.

Life is not fair and it never will be, in our eyes at least. Our children need to learn that early. God does not have to explain his purposes.

When the whole family was put on tami flu for 5 days, I knew that the next few days will be a nightmare but what I didn't expect was for the oldest to be the fussiest of the lot. She started being stubborn about not taking it and we had to put on an electronic ban. So the water works began. I end with the same statement... I love you with all my heart... but I have only one job towards you and i damn better get it right because i only get one chance at it.

Love always,
your mum!