She is 23 months today....

but the last weekend was a roller coaster ride for me. It was the first time I left jannah with friends and not family all by her self for a very long duration. Since we still haven't tried pre-school, Jannah is pretty much around her mum and dad all the time. I think that I was more afraid than her.

The first day - Friday - went ok when she was with my neighbour and dear friend for about 4 hours during which she had her down moments but was mostly ok. Then on Saturday we left her with the baby sitters because we had to be at the seminar. She was mostly ok but utterly bored and we took her out during the breaks she was not happy at all to go back in. She was just so bored!

Hard as it was for me I had to sneak out of the Masjid and back into my seminar which was about 2.5 to 3 minute walk from the Masjid where Jannah spent all 8 hours in. Then on Sunday when we took her back to the baby sitters she cried so much. I could hardly concentrate thinking of how hurt she must be. So I kept praying to Allah to help her cope.

To give her a change I thought we will keep her with another dear friend who offered to watch her for a little while. She was already a mum of three including a new born and I hated having to give her an additional burden but I thought that one hour or two hours in a different environment which was more like home will help Jannah.

Apparently she had been a good girl, not causing any trouble. When we picked her at 3:30pm, she seemed quite happy Masha Allah (and I was too, finally) but the sad part was that little did she know that she was to be in the masjid again with the baby sitters till 8pm at least.

Again, when we left her there, I sneaked out hoping and praying that she will be ok and Alhamdulillah the sitters told me that she was much better than she was, that morning. I was so relieved. She kissed the baby sitters good bye and we finally came home after a long day. The Seminar was life changing for us and it brought out a whole new perspective of how we are going to look at the Quran again! I am to blog about its details here Insha Allah

Thank you Lilly and Sadia - May Allah bless and reward you always!

I am also grateful to the organizers for arranging baby sitters for us to keep our children safe and give us the peace of mind! May Allah reward your efforts!

As for Jannah I think she is ready to go to preschool soon Insha Allah. I wish we had tried it earlier but Insha Allah I am now sure she will be just fine and do better than I did on my first day at school!

How soon they grow!

Oh to be a child!

Oh to be a child, so careless and carefree, to run like nobody would watch and to sing like nobody would hear, oh to be a child, so dear!

My poor baby!

when your baby is sick your world turns upside down!

My angel and a fever!

It is hard to imagine that I have not written about Jannah for the last two months. She sadly got sick twice. Once because I cought a bad throat infection and now because her dad had the seasonal flu. It is sad to see her eyes weak and feel her skin hot; to hear painful coughs - I hope she gets well soon. I hope we all do! She is 22 months and her immunity that came from me is slowly dying out. She is active and playful all the time and she is growing fast Masha Allah! I have a lot to be thankful for and just a little to be worried about. Oh My Lord, please take care of her and us all for we have eachother and you alone!

Ramadan came and went. It was agood month filled with spiritual inspiration, the remeberance of allah, charity and prayer!

"Aash Sul Every phase rough or joyful will pass; Every hair black or blond will turn grey. What remains is the heart and the emotion of love, the sweet memories of yesterday and the hope that tomorrow will be still better!
" - Aashika Sulaiman

About a father's love for his son!

This may bring you tears!

20 months in 2 days

My Dear Jannah

All the sweet things I write about you on this blog are true. But it is also true that sometimes i get very angry with you and the things you do. Whenever I take a pen and make some notes you have to have it and when i spend too long at the computer you spank the key board and even take out some of the keys to get my attention. The number zero is out and seven and nine are almost falling out. Dad bought you a pop up book which you find interesting and tear out. I always get you the hard board ones. you like books. you love to scribble on paper and sometimes on the couch, bed sheets and blinds. Keeping the house neat and tidy is therefore a very hard job for me. you take your toys all over the house and i have to tidy up after you all the time. When you are done eating you like to turn your plate over and spill all the leftovers on your tray and on the floor. You just love to play with water and i dont really mind that but I hate it wshen you play with the water that you are supposed to drink. You wont let me comb your curly locks and you hate any hair clip or ornaments that I put on your hair. You take it right away and throw it off. sometimes i don't have the patience so I just shout back at you and you seem very sad. When we go to the mall you want to run instead of sitting in your stroller and dad and I get embarrased and angry. We take you to the park and play areas every week. We take you the kids programs at the library and we let you run in safe places but you never get tired. You can stay up till past 12 if we are at a dinner party. Woah!

But Jannah, you are literally our universe. Everything we do, whether it be a trip to the grand canyons or the July 4th fireworks we wonder whether you will be ok with it. We must purchase a house, we must save for your education, we must buy you those cute little toys and outfits, we must make a cd of your videos, we must teach you the Quran, we must show you love and respect all human beings irrespective of their culture and religion.... all the things we must do for you extend even beyond our lifetime... But Jannah one day there may come a day when you get angry with us, when you think that every thing we do for you is just our duty, where we may be too old for you to discuss your problems with us.

When the mysteries of life baffle you
when the choice between tv programs and Hijab confuse you
When questions start popping in your head

Always know that

It will be natural and when that happens remember that I am trying to deal with new things too. It wont be as easy as cleaning up after you or running behind you while combing your hair. It will be another challenge for me and I only hope that when you think of all your best friends I will be in the top of that list!

In all honesty

In all honesty (not for you to read Jannah ;)

Sometimes

• to be able to have to not be worried all the time that she is not eating bugs...
• to be able to shop in the malls without having to run after her
• to be able to sleep without being woken to her sounds
• to be able to got out and sit down and have a quiet dinner without cutlery on the floor and ketchup on the table cloth
• to be able to wear a t shirt on a single day without a chocolate milk stain...
• to be able to relax under the shades of a tree
• to be able to not have to vacuum three times a day

.... sometimes its just a dream, a luxury but having a child in your life gives your life meaning and completes it so nevermind the stains and spills, the tantrums and the yells, the running and the catching.... she is the one that makes us smile through all of it... she is the meaning of our lives.