All about the baby and a little more!

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Cultivating a culture of chaos

As a family we always try to turn up on time for events and invitations. Yes inevitable last minute things do happen but we try to start early and leave room for any unexpected events, getting gas or closed roads. When we go late for everything we are teaching our kids that its ok to be late that its ok not to respect another person's time.'

If you want to have a generation that is productive and efficient then teach them to start on time. Life is time. Some people justify going late by saying that everyone is late or that the event will not start on time anyway... This is not good at all. All events should start on time. Specially ones that involve children. Let late comers pay the price. Waiting for them, only encourages them to be late next time.

Also if you are inviting people over try to give them a time that is both reasonable for you and works for them. Before you have your dinner guests over you could ask them what times work well for them and fix a mutually convenient time that does not stress either party. I don't like events that are set at an earlier time just so that people will come half our late. Time is life and respect it. Don't have some one wasting their life waiting for you!

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Grocery shopping with the kids can be a very good educational experience for them.

When taking the kids grocery shopping I try to have them work with a budget so that they can learn to spend according to their means. For example we tell them that they can get what they want as long as its within this range: say $5 or $7. If they don't find something for the allocated amount they learn to settle for less or do without it. This way they know they can't just get anything that costs any amount. They are usually allowed one snack per week and a drink or juice. Entertainment shopping which involves stuff like pokeman cards and fancy stationery or books can only be done a couple of times a year usually before festivals and special occasions. Its not about being able to afford but its about having self control, being financially intelligent and practically implementing math. Never avoid taking kids on a shopping spree that they can learn a lot from. Involve them. Get them to help. Get them to look for the best deals and before you know, they'll be doing your shopping for you. This can alsp be done together online.

They can also looks for earth friendly items that use less paper and plastic or use recyclable items.


Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Red light to nurse

One of the most difficult things fro me to do as a mother is to stop nursing my youngest. The very thought, brings me tears... He cant understand why he has to go through this and I cant explain it to him... I just have to let him cry it out and it is as hard for me as it is for him. He will be two in four more months. I try to remember the freedom that the weaning off gave me. Being able to go wherever  and wear whatever...

As people start enlarging their eyes when I tell them I'm still nursing my toddler, I feel sad. Its such a blessing... I would admire someone for their patience... People think its easy. Let me tell you, its not...

You almost never get a good night's rest
You are hot and sweaty
You are in pain even when you are not nursing
You have to hold another person who is pretty heavy and be sure not to drop them.
You have to work around a toddlers schedule and be able to interrupt any thing you do any time, for them
You are hungry or thirsty all the time
You are tired and nobody understands why, because they don't see you running a marathon
You hate those who make it trivial


So if you see someone who is selfless enough to nurse, stop and appreciate them for a minute. Encourage them and be happy for them. It is the least you could do!

Monday, April 17, 2017

Only Girls

So, when you have only one daughter, its kind of sad because you have to get rid of all the cute outfits that have been outgrown without being able to pass it down to a sister. You wish you could have more and then get a reality check about how hard it is to go through the whole process and raise them right. Then you think about adoption and then you are bombarded with a thousand opinions or so and you go back to being content with what you have... I was an only girl and never new what it was like to have sisters. Large families always seem like a lot of fun and have extra blessings

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Weaning off

"

Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable. No person is charged with more than his capacity. No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child. And upon the [father's] heir is [a duty] like that [of the father]. And if they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them. And if you wish to have your children nursed by a substitute, there is no blame upon you as long as you give payment according to what is acceptable. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Seeing of what you do.

" Baqara 233

The painful process of weaning off is about to start... I have mixed feelings this time around. I would never get this chance again in my life. I wanted to adopt a child and nurse him or her but that might never happen.... all the contradiction about mahram....

Moosa's birth was the most difficult of the three... I also found that it brought about a special bond/ At times he is a very difficult baby/toddler. Very set with his ways. Last night we put him down without milk and it was very hard. He cried for a long time. He finally settled to some singing....

Once I stop nursing him he will forever be disconnected from me physically. He will no longer need me. So it is as difficult for me as it is for him... It's all he's known since the day he was born... he has to now give it up and I have to do everything I can to make him feel that I am not mad at him and that this is not a punishment. His sad cries melt my heart and I am usally on the verge of giving in but I have to be strong for both of our sakes. Once he cries there is no going back. He will eventually learn to sooth himself and to realize that mummy's ilk is no longer needed.... I am sad... more sad that this will be both the last time for him and for me.... I nursed Jannah for 19 months.... Haroon for 18  and Moosa is 18 1/2 now....

Someday when you grow up and read this Moosa, don't feel embarrassed, rather feel lucky that I was able to do it. Despite not being able to wear what I want, or go where I want... I have been able to enjoy the privilege Alhamdelillah!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

My Dear Bubbly Girl ... As you get older....

A very busy day ahead for me today... Laundry, dishes and cleaning piled up. Moosa is taking a nap and I have to write this for you.... You are a little over 9 years old and I want you to know...


8 years ago when Dad and I took you the children emergency unit in Wisconsin.... Yes we were over-reacting for nothing at all.... but let me tell you how I felt.

They said they want to do an xray. My heart was so heavy. My little 14 day old baby was being checked for everything. We wanted to go home but they didn't let us. We all stayed overnight with you, Umama, dad and I. It was a terrible night on December 24th 2007.

I love you more than ypu will ever understand. May be some day when you become a mother you will understand why I have to do what I do. You are a blessing. Every day we pray for you... to be a good person, to do well in school, to be the best you can be!

I love how you teach your brother
I love how polite and well behaved you are at school
I love it when you help me and give me massages
I love how you take such good care of Moosa
I love you so much... much more than you cna ever understand
and God loves you 70 times more than that!

Please be your best self honey!
Please be careful and have concern for others
Help others
Teach others
Love others
Don't shout at me
Don't hurt my feelings
I'm sorry if I have hurts yours
I truly am...
others have so much to do that sometimes we forget to sit down and enjoy the moment...
You understand, don't you sweet honey crunch?

Don't leave this world without making a positive difference in it!
Leave behind a legacy...

My first and only girl ....

I Love you!
Mommy!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Even though we cannot make sense of the mad craziness of it all, we have to cling to the belief that beneath it all, is always something good.