When you sleep…

When I put you to sleep every night I am so scared… so scared that you’d be too cold or too hot… so scared that you’d roll over, so scared that I may not hear your cry… would you bring the blanket over your face? I look at your tightly closed eyes and pray to God to take care of you when I can’t. Are you comfortable? Darling I am so worried! So worried that you will be unhappy… that I will fail in my duty towards you… darling I cannot tell you how much you mean to me….

I am waiting for dawn. When you wake up a few times in the night I am relieved to hear your cry. That you are ok and that I there is no need for any anxiety… my love my life… my joy… my pride.

I am waiting to see your smile that appears like the sun’s heat in milwaukee . It’s heart breaking to hear you cry when I have to snuggle you through all those tight warm clothes. If you were in Sri Lanka where you were really meant to be you would have been free like a bird in cotton clothes and cloth diapers, soft against your skin. No funny changes in colour… no rashes for me to expect…. No temperature control..

But here dear… there are no mosquitoes to gore through your soft flesh… no ants to drink the left over milk drops, no 100 thousand visitors to disturb your sweet slumber, no dust and smoke or noisy buses around… You are lucky indeed… your birth was like a holiday for mum and dad. You are born to a country that’s advanced in many ways more than ours… I hope you will be happy here although your mum’s heart is there…

I love you my angel princess… you make me so happy that I have to cry tears of joy every now and then… let me do what it takes to make you happy too..

With Love (of infinite volume)

Mum