I don't usually blog when I am depressed or upset but I think my children need to see me in both my best and worst days so that they know that life is not a bed of roses  all the time. today is Jannah's and Haroon's spelling bee. They both made it to the first five in their classes haroon had 37 students to compete against. it was his first spelling bee I am so upset that I cannot be there for them that I cannot share them on to their website today I'm at home taking care of Moosa. I cannot be there enjoying this moment with them. my heart is with you Jannah and haroon no matter where I may be or you may be.  

Last weekend Moosa had fever. The weekend before that Haroon had fever. Your life turns upside down when one of your children is sick.  Yes one day we will look back at all these wonderful memories and see that they were only blessings in disguise.  I miss working. I miss the hustle and bustle.  I feel like I need to get out there because I do have something to contribute. Being a mom is a full-time job. No mother will tell you that it's easy.  I am uncomfortable leaving my children with strangers - nannies, babysitters, care takers.