My dear dear baby, I’m so sorry

I guess the hardest thing for a mum is to watch her baby sick and worse yet not being able to do much about it. J has been met by fever, a runny nose and a very painful sounding cough. She seems like she needs to be around us more and refuses any form of food and drink. Well… holding her all day long and all night long I can do but I cant watch her exerting that little body to cough and her eyes droopy and almost like in pain. The cold don’t seem to lighten up the heat of her head and it feels so sad to watch her lifeless and ill and worst - unhappy. It’s just a cold, cough and fever but it always seems like more because she’s just a little baby and she cant even say that her throat hurts or her head’s heavy…!

So all I can do is sing and pray and hope that she gets better soon… I want my smiley, naughty and happy baby back…

“They grow up fast!”

In two days I heard it four times – “They grow up fast” so I thought I’ll write…


Sometimes I think about all those things I want to do – scrabble, writing, uninterrupted reading, cooking, working in an office, teaching and then I look at you. You really wont be around for long, will you? In an year you’ll be off to school and you’d want to play on your own or with other mates. Umma and dada will be merely spectators ha? Then you’ll go off to college and leave us alone home all day. I’ll be thinking about you and you’ll be thinking about millions of other things that do not include me. And then you’ll marry away and go for good and then I’ll be thinking I wish I had more time with her…. You'll leave us alone to grow old on our own!

So here is it Jan, This is your time… Bug me all you want and hug me all you want. I am for you and you will be for me just till you grow up and are able to change your own clothes and wash your own self and feed your own food… just till then…. Let me enjoy you and feel free to annoy me. Pull on my hair and nibble on my clothes, spill juice everywhere and tatter the newspapers; and when I’m cross, give me that awfully cute innocent smile which makes me laugh…

For I know “They grow up fast!”

11 months, going on 12

So she is almost an year. Does not walks without support. blabbers quite a lot. Hates having a teeth brush and often confuses her hair brush with the tooth brush. She eats rice and adult foods but in very limited quantities. Doesn't play by herself for too long. Needs mum's and dad's attention. Hates being in the crib or stroller or car seat. Loves new faces and making friends. Looooves typing. Yeah that's why my blogs are so short and rarely ever sweet.Ok she's pulling on me. got to go!

10 months done

When she looks into my eyes with hope and expectation, I want to give her the world. I want to hold her in my arms and swing her to sleep singing her favourite lullaby. Crawling to the door she cries every morning to see her dad go. I feel so sorry. Consoling her is hard. Cooking and cleaning even worse. But I do my best everyday for the three of us to be happy together. I look forward to her growing up and running around and helping her with her homework and making pretty girly things for her. There is so much to look forward to and hope for. I remember when I was pregnant I tried to imagine her face and what she would look like. God gave me much btter than hoped for or expected. From getting love J is slowly converting to giving love as she smothers us with her kisses and loving smiles. She is lovelier than anything you can imagine and her personality shines for miles away like the sun’s rays.

J waits for her daddy at the window
And mum makes tea
Everyday is the same
But every day is special
A few falls and cries
But smiles in plenty

She is indeed the sunshine of my life!