The second scan

So now we know the gender but its going to be a secret surprise until birth. The head was quite large and may fit into the palm of my hand. Little ribs and little limbs and a very active heart were in our view. It was a great second experience and dad was thrilled as usual. He cant wait till baba is about two or three years old. In the mean time ive been looking at catalogues offline mostly in the ambition to stitch a few things instead of buying everything. Baba is becoming heavier to carry around and is making me tired and sleepy all the time. Something very hard for me to do with my job. I don’t get to sleep in the night until she does. I know when she is when the kicking and movement stops. Dada feels closer to baby after finding out the gender. Mama is just relieved and happy to find out that everything is normal and that my baby is not small like everyone thinks. We can narrow down the name finding now that we know the gender. Still a very difficult decision for us to make.

Love you very much and waiting for your arrival impatiently….

Until we meet again!

My dear baby

Dada and mama and everyone around just cant wait to meet you but please do take your own time and see us when you’re ready…

Love you loads!

Officially - uncles to be

I guess uncles do feel excited at their new appointments. I know at least one of my brothers is. They probably should be because it would be their first and closest experience to parenting. They may need to baby sit them and set good examples around them. Well I don’t know what its like to be an aunt cos I don’t have an older sibling but I would have been as excited as having my own if I did have an older sibling. I sometimes wish I had a sister who could help take care of the baby cos I don’t want to trouble mama too much. The need of kith and kin and large extended families and lots of siblings become all the more evident here.

This post is dedicated to my med student brother in Bangladesh who wishes so much that he will be here with us to meet the first baby in our family!

Gender wars

A colleague at work said I was being discriminatory by using the term “she” on my blog when I don’t yet know the gender of the baby. Since it’s worth the suggestion I’m blogging about it.

Dad thinks it’s a boy and mum thinks it’s a girl. Grandparents and great grandmother think it’s a girl. Well more people think it’s a girl. I realized that many of the pregnancy and child care sites I visit (see the links on the right) either use he or she and almost never both. The bottom line is that I don’t think the baby is going to grow up to worry about such petty and insignificant details. Mama thought it was a girl and was wrong… so what? I guess she/he will be more interested in finding out about what happen in the first 5 years of life during which she/he never knew of her/his existence.

Anyway, if it be such trouble for my readers to whom the blog is really meant for, let me stick to both genders until I take my next scan and find out for sure.

The fact remains that whatever the gende, it really doesn't matter. All we need is a healthy and good baby and if i don't live long enough to tell you the story.... this blog shall do...

Children are from heaven

Need to start shopping for stuff. I’m now beginning to notice baby stuff that I was never so much interested in before. Nappies? Baby shirts? Warm clothing? Diapers? Accessories? Hair pins? Hats? Socks? Baby pins? Soft toys? Rattles? Pillows? Do we buy or borrow a cot? What kind of bath tubs and toilet training stuff do we get? How about carriers and car seats and swings. I’ve told my dad to fix a thottil in the house in Kandy. This is a cotton saree that is tied to the ceiling and will hold and rock the baby to sleep. It’s also supposed to be perfectly hygienic (as apposed to urine soaked mattresses), extremely comfortable and also good for the babies rapidly growing body. Sometimes I wonder whether we are on fast forward mode. However four months will pass in the blink of an eye and being the well organized and planned person I am ihave learnt that its always better to be prepared than sorry…. Getting things done in advance is always much better that being late unless of course its food that will get spoilt.

Mum and Dad – a new Avenue to walk down!

Being a parent is a scary thought. Nevertheless it is an exciting one with numerous hopes and expectations. From the choosing of a right and suitable name to the school that the child must fit into, is all a part of a great big responsibility. We had a choice about who we are going to marry and whether we are to or not have children and when they should be had. But the baby’s existence is not her choice at all. Nor does she have any say in picking her parents, siblings or even school. She’d just have to live with what she has, just like a shuffled pack of playing cards. Didn’t we all have that? Mere chance is what it all boils down to. Well at least to a great extent.

Parenting is probably one of the most difficult jobs and if I may dare say only the brave can courageously face it. Many parents today are preoccupied by tight schedules and busy career lives often leaving children to be attended to by grandparents and/or domestic aids leading to corrupt and mislead newer generations. A very unhealthy choice of most people who are not left with a choice at all. Just like many other aspects in our lives we are only given one chance to be parents and we can either make a brilliant job of it or neglect it altogether.

Why are grandparents and nannies not suitable to bring up kids?

Too difficult to say “no”

Grandpaprents tend to love the grandchildren fiercely. The often do not refuse their requests. Children hence learn to have their way all the time

Old age is catching up.

Grandparents may not be healthy enough to run around kids. Learning and teaching methods may be somewhat traditional and may differ from what is taught in school

Less feelings

The other extreme can be expected from those paid to take care of kids. They may either have less feelings or nothing at all unless it’s a very exceptional person. They may be unnecessarily rough or rude to the children. Good hygiene, health and good habits will almost never be a priority to them. Children may wrong uses of the language from those who don’t know it well enough. Servants may give children what they want or even a pinch or two to stop a long and annoying whine.

So what’s the healthiest option for bringing up kids without jeopardizing a booming career?

There’s hardly any solution for the above problem. Day care centers tried to minimize the issue however children’s craving for attention only gets worse. Kids need their parents to be around them. There are some work places that allow employees to bring in their kids and have special rooms and care takers for this purpose. An idea, pretty much worth exploring. The last resort is to try quitting from the job for at least a short period or to try working from home. It’s not easy to have additional work responsibilities at home with kids shouting around you. However when it comes to priorities in life, children should certainly come first. After all it’s a whole life to mould and once lost can never be found again!

To the Grandparents

I think there’s something more special in being a grandparent than in being a parent. My mum and dad have been so thrilled ever since they heard about the new arrival to expect. Probably it’s because it’s their first and they get to live through the lives of two generations. For them it’s a wonderful second experience. May be they want to put right some of the mistakes that they may have done as parents. All the advice, the nutritious food…. “I couldn’t do this when you were a baby”…

Well it all adds up perfectly.

I’m sure they will be great grand parents just as much as they were very good parents (as you can tell by looking at me;)

I’m very thankful for all the help they give my new little family. No matter where in the world I travel mum’s home cooked hot hot food is the best and I’m sometimes sad that I’m not staying with them anymore… A part of the learning process of independence.

To my dearest mum and dad… Thanks for everything that you have helped me do for the baby and all that scolding too!

Sponsoring of Orphans

Al Kafala has been working on a project for the last three years. After the tsunami many children were left orphaned and stranded. Not all of us have the ability and means to adapt them so Al Kafala launched a programme for Orphan Sponsorship. A family can sponsor an orphan for Rs. 20000 a year. That’s only about Rs 60 a day to buy the bread and basics for a growing child. If there’s anyone interested in helping out please contact me on aashikas[at]gmail.com. If you are unable to sponsor an orphan please pray for their well being and that they would find another suitable sponsor. There are also various other projects that you can get involved in by way of donation or physical help.

Click here for appeal letter

A lucky baby – Maasha Allah!

The baby came to existence one year and about 5 months after we married. We were so happy about the timing because we were able to travel a lot… specially the safari in Kenya. Couldn’t have done it if I had got pregnant earlier. I couldn’t have even got my travel vaccinations. She knew just the right time ti make it to us!
Looking back now it seems that we were so lucky. We had time of our own and now when we are really ready for the baby we are having one. With the coming of the baby…. Lots of good things came our way and we were happy and thankful to Allah for all that happen and is happening. Hope and pray that it stays that way.

Inside me!

Every time I feel the movements its like she’s reminding me that she’s there and that she’s ok and very much alive and kicking. I went to the gyno yesterday for my monthly checkup. Had to get my tetanus vaccine dose. The arm hurts. The abdomens getting heavier to carry a round and I have a hard time in the mornings dressing up for work. Everything’s getting tighter and sometimes I end up wearing things that don’t match very well. The husband wants to get a camera so that he can take pictures of me getting bigger and bigger. I haven’t gained much weight though. Need to eat up. I’m trying very hard to do that. We visit the supermarket every other day so that I can have varieties of what I like. I’m thankful for all the blessings and am trying hard to live better and enjoy the pregnancy. It’s not fair to the baby if I don’t take care of myself. I've been hearing a lot of that lately.A tall order for a very carefree person. I’m also planning a short holiday to the beaches because we wont be able to travel for quite sometime after the baby is born. Need to relax a little with a hectic working life and all that. Hope all goes well. There goes my thoughts…. click... cllick... on and on….

What names will be best?!

Hannah?

Anwar?

Anwara?

Aadham?

Ashra?

Ashar?

Hudha?

Aleema?

Aleena?

Jannah?

Thariq?

Abdullah?

Haroon?

Basharath?

to the unborn!

I’m five months pregnant. Yes, this is a little too late to be starting the blog. I’ve always wanted to write about the developments of the baby, the movements… the bad and good moments of it. I guess the nausea took up most of my time. I woke up and vomited even this morning. Yeah I hate that. I think it’s a girl although he wants a boy. It’s amazing to think of the life growing within. May be you’d want to see my first thoughts as we found out that I was pregnant with our first child in my first thoughts! We’ve been looking for neutral coloured stuff like green, yellow and white so that whatever the gender the baby can use it. Anyway she aint gona know about what she had. The blog is for the baby. Probably reading it will be boring for her. But I’m going to forget all if this and if she ever asks me I will be in no position to tell her. I hope I’m getting heavier cos if I’m not, that wont be too healthy. I’m trying to eat more and better for her. Even things that I don’t like very much. Its hard but life doesn’t leave us with many choices does it? I cant wait to see her. I keep counting days. We need to still decide on the names. That’s a job – the difficulty of which I underestimated. Hmm… need to go back to work. Hope I can fill this in soon some other time!